RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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