He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize