Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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