He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
