So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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