.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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