i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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