Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
