I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
