i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
