Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
