Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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