turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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