More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
