UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
we're so committed to being not committed
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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