summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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