Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
