just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
