Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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