I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
