haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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