I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
