The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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