They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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