Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
