I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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