You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize