just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
