Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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