You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
