fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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