He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
FUCK WHALES
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
