I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
