Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
