so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
