I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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