Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
