So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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