Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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