we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
