No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
