its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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