I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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