Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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