what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
