i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
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you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
