plz talk dirty to me
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
