If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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