You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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