Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
