I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
