I must be too annoying 4 u.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
