dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
