i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
