Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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